Wednesday, November 22, 2006
The last time
All my years in SJI, I have got nothing to show. In studies is like this, in hockey is the same too. I see other CCAs winning medals, while I can only dream that one day it will be my turn to walk up and receive my medal.
I trained extremely hard during trainings last year thinking that we stood a chance. Thinking that we were a strong team, there was a chance for us to win. But during the Nationals, it was an eye-opener for me, I got to see how much we sucked compared to the other teams. But I didn't give up then, I continued to work hard, made it to the team again this year. But things decide to go against my will again, I remembered clearly, the moment I stepped onto the field, I saw an ACSI attacker came charging towards me, I did everything correct, bent down and focused on the ball. But he was too good for me, he got me wrong-footed before crashing into me,face on. My spectacles flew off, I was blind for that brief moment. He passed the ball and they scored. It was all my fault. I had caused us to be a goal down. While we were desperately chasing for an comeback, they scored again. The game ended 3-1.
Now when trainings finally resumed, I no longer have the drive to work hard anymore. I am trying very hard to motivate myself but sometimes it seems impossible. But maybe having failed too many times, failng once more doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I am gonna give my best one last time, the very last time.
4:49 AM